Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Control Freak

I'm so out of control currently...mentally, physically, perhaps spiritually...I just know that my hormones are raging and getting the better of me. I totally had a 3 day weekend of crappy eating. I allowed myself to eat things that generally should never cross these lips and my body has swollen up as the effect. It's really interesting to see how the body reacts to food and certain activities. When you put wholesome organic foods into your bod, it seems to run well and never really wants for anything, and the brain has pretty decent clarity (except for the rebellious side that wants to eat pizza or in my case BAGELS). Granted I'm all for having your cake and eating it too, but when PMS strikes, it seems like I'm having more than just my cake, and the last thing I want to do is work-out to at least warrant treating myself. Ugh, I do so good and then I do so bad. I know I'm supposed to find a happy medium but for me, there doesn't seem to be one. I have to be all or nothing or it just won't happen. Perhaps it's my OCD personality (CDO, we must keep it in alphabetical order after all)...I just can't seem to allow myself to be ok with only doing part of a healthy eating regiment. But is it a healthy eating regiment if you only do it in part? I used to do a program where they'd allow you one cheat day a week...that really did seem to help and I lost my initial 30 lbs by remembering that eating healthy today is ok and that if I want the junk I can save it for my "cheat day"...but then I hit a plateau and figured that the "cheat day" may be the reason the loss didn't continue. So last summer, I really cleaned up my eating and lost another 20...but I've gained 10 back since then and have kept losing and gaining back that same 10 lbs. over and over again...I'm on the gained back side right now thanks to my adventures in eating this past week. The detox went well and I lost weight (water) sure, but it's not something to maintain for the rest of my life, nor was it intended to be a lifestyle...it really was just supposed to be a 2 week detox to get your liver and the rest of the system cleaned out and functioning...so mission accomplished. Now to figure out what I can do as a normal everyday function in eating. I at least can say I no longer crave blueberry muffins for breakfast (that used to be my nemesis...the morning cupcake if you will)...so that's a good thing. And I've really been wanting to get back into yoga again, my body just aches for it. So I think I'll try to continue to eat the good wholesome things and see if I can't do a "cheat day" once a week and then see if I can't get it to once every two weeks until it becomes something that is more of a rarity as opposed to the rule. I hear that eventually you don't crave the bad things anymore...but I've never really gotten to that point yet...perhaps it's an Urban Legend.

Have a great day!

PS...check out the about me area in this blog...there has been a happy update!


Fitarella said...

Don't let it get you down, just keep in goin my friend. PMS days are ALWAYS the worst for me and I decided a while ago to just ride the wave and give in when necessary. My latest PMS concotion is frozen bananas, fresh whipped cream,& chocolate syrup (the kind that hardens. Next month it will be something else :-) You have been doing fabulous and I know you will continue to do so. I would definitely try to go with the cheat day to alleviate the restrictiveness (is that a word?).

As for NYC? I am trying to get it in the schedule asap. I would love to come for one of the concerts!

MizFit said...

Im with fitarella.

move on and dont waste a moment of your life looking back.

I really like the notion of a cheat day more frequently initially and then only as often as you 'need' it.

Im thinking that as time goes on you may love it---but once a month?

Anonymous said...

Ah hell, you have to be able to eat a BAGEL once in a while, Beck!
Just keep shoving fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and seeds into your mouth. The MORE of that stuff you eat, the less of the other stuff you'll actually have room for! Ha!
We should have a lunch/coffee date soon.
Are you going to Hungary w/that company or did I miss that post?

MizFit said...

checking back in on you.



Anonymous said...

Okay, I'm behind but...

I have the "all-or-nothing" problem too, SO badly. And I can't claim to have a handle on it, but here's how I'm trying to GET a handle.

No matter how much bad stuff I put into my body, the good stuff is still good. The vitamins and minerals and fiber in that apple or those almonds are still there; I am still getting those even if I chase them with an entire case of chips. The positives don't get wiped out by the negatives.

This is sort of helpful for days like right now, when I eat great all day until that craving hits at 3:00 p.m. and I cave into the chocolate bar. Okay. I ate the chocolate bar. But it didn't cancel out all the good stuff that I've eaten. Likewise, the fact that I didn't do my strength training last night does not add back in the calories I burned in my hour-long walk.

I may not lose very quickly if I'm looking at things this way - and I don't plan to make it a habit to eat crap and not exercise just because I've eaten an apple and did five lunges - but it does help me to get through those times (esp. PMS times!) when I cave and don't have perfect days. Or even decent days. This is the rest of my life, after all - and I will not be perfect for the rest of my life. Not a chance.

The other thing I keep chanting to myself is the 80% rule. If I am making the right choices 80% of the time, then I can still love myself. :-) Sure, I strive for 100% - but I don't have to hate myself for not making it.

And look at this: the very highest career batting average in Major League Baseball was Ty Cobb - at .366. Do you know what that means? That over 60% of the time, HE FAILED. And he was the greatest, because he succeeded not quite four times out of ten.

I know it's a little different when you're trying to lose weight and be healthy, but it's a valuable thing to think of to try to get out of that mindset. One of the biggest reasons people fail at diets is that they have this all-or-nothing mentality, so if they have a crappy day, they toss it all to the wind and eat whatever they want.

So I think...give yourself a hug, plan a regular "cheat meal" (I'm all for once a week, personally, but hey, YMMV!) and forgive yourself. Good enough really is good enough, and you're not ever going to get kicked off the Official Olympic Dieters Team for a bad day. Or even a bad weekend. If you have the bagel or even the entire pizza, okay. It's not the end of the world. :-)

Love you to pieces!


PS: As for the cravings? Yes, they do get better. Sometimes they go completely away. But then PMS can ALWAYS resurrect them when you least expect it. Eternal vigilance. Really. Ain't I a ray of sunshine? :-)

BeckStein said...

Seriously...you all rock.

Fitarella, I've gotta try the chocolate banana thing.

MizFit, I think you're right...I do think I can get it to once a month eventually.

Vegan, I'll call you...we sooo have catching up to do!

V...thank you girl...I feel better, and you're right, we can't be perfect all of the time, and we should try to love ourselves no mattter our weaknesses...I'll keep the good going and not sweat the small stuff.


All Vegged Out said...

I'm late to the party... but you can do this! You deal with more in one day than most of us deal with in a week and if you can do that you can certainly make it through anything. Sometimes you just need to let go and yea it sucks because then then scale won't cooperate, but at least the rest of you can make it through the hurdles.

Take care!