Thursday, February 28, 2008


I've come to a realization about myself, I do very well with structure. In fact I NEED structure basically in every aspect of my life or I just shut down. For example: If I have a "diet" to follow with a starting day and time and a finish, I generally stick to it perfectly and ne'er stay; or if I have a set exercise regime, like classes on certain days to take or a log with exercises to do on the other days and that I can check off, then I'll end up doing it for the sheer satisfaction of accomplishing my healthy goals for the day/week. I seem to be a goal oriented person and accomplishment brings me satisfaction. Same with music, if I have to learn music for an upcoming performance or audition, I generally learn it rather quickly and efficiently and seldom procrastinate.

As of late, I've been pretty off-kilter with the structure thing. I finished the detox diet, so now what? My hours have changed and the classes I liked to take at my old lunch-hour time are now unavailable to me. Being sick and having to be at the theatre so much as of late, has laid an opening for eating crap, drinking, and then being lazy with any empty time that I may have. In fact, if I DO ever have free time, I really don't know what to do with myself. I get all jumbled up in the head and can't decide if I should rest (if I don't, I'll get sick and/or burn-out), if I should clean (Lord knows my apartment is in need of some serious cleaning), go out with friends (which I should see every now and then to truly have a relationship with them), spend time with my boyfriend (he's terribly neglected and our schedules conflict and it's about to get worse when he starts Columbia in the Fall), practice (hello I have an Opera career that I'm pursuing) or a multitude of many other options that involve everyday life. However the option I generally go to is a vegetative state...I tend to find a little bit of free time and completely shut down. Not that that's a bad thing, it affords me to recharge a bit, but there's SO MUCH TO DO! I'm not really going to allow myself to get to stressed over it, because it's not worth getting upset over. I do alot in my everyday life and accomplish much, but now I just need to tweak my schedule a bit to allow for some better time management. And maybe, just maybe if I schedule in some cleaning, time with the bf, grocery shopping, a new work-out schedule, and time to practice, these things will all get done with minor amounts of stress. All this ontop of my day job, my voice lessons, coachings, and productions at the Opera.

Now to just decide what "diet" and exercise regiment I want to adopt and adapt into my current lifestyle. Again, I need structure with small goals to accomplish. One bonus, because I've been eating well and exercising pretty regularly before getting sick and this latest production at the Opera, I've pretty much maintained my loss. I've been naturally making smarter choices about food, and when I don't, I end up eating smaller I truly have learned something from my previous successes. I want to research Jillian Michaels' program and see if I want to try her eating and exercise plan to incorporate into my schedule. Or maybe check out what Oprah's Dr. Oz has to say about things. Any suggestions? My goal is to have a nice balanced plan that is loaded with healthy eating of whole and organic foods. No potions, pills or poisons. And an exercise plan that constantly changes and challenges the bod, because truly that's the only way to get results. I like cardio, light resistance training, and fun activities like boxing, yoga, dancing and even hiking. I know what I like to do, I know how to do it, I just need the (here comes the word of the day) STRUCTURE in order to do it. I need a plan to follow, stick to and check-off. I like the idea of Ms. Dietbook and her gold stars. I believe she also does the Jillian Michaels' plan of some sort, and I will definitely be picking her brain about it. Ms. Dietbook has got perseverance and will continue to have success in her health goals because she doesn't quit. She'll continue to grow and change and she'll wake up one day (if she hasn't already) and be like holy crap I look good, I feel good, and I'm proud of myself.

Tonight we start rehearsal for the RA Cabaret, and no one knows anything about anything regarding the show or what we're expected to sing, but hey we're professionals, and we can handle anything that's thrown at us...right? LOL. That's the business, always learning and changing. Life's about that you know you're living if you're growing and learning, but once you stop, you're as good as dead. What's the point of living if you don't do anything with life? My belief is to go after what you want in life, make decisions and don't regret. You can make mistakes, but get over it and move point in dwelling on the past (hello it's the past already, you can't go back) So go forward and make new educated decisions that you've learned from living. I always say "Live in the now and Plan for the future."

Have a great day!


Anonymous said...

Bex, I just love you! You always make me laugh and feel better. :-)

I also think we share a brain...I have to have the structure, too, for all the same reasons. And I never feel better than when everything in life is orderly, structured, organized and calm. Heh, not that it ever is!

I do use Jillian's online plan; I don't follow the meal plans because I pretty much have that part down to a science but it's the same nutritional stuff, so it's essentially the same diet. The exercise, though, ROCKS. I get it from, and it is a pay site (I think it's $20 a month) but well worth it, to my mind. I can't believe the difference it has made in me...

And thank you so much for your wonderfully sweet made me a tad choked up there. :-) I love your philosophy in the now and plan for the future. I could not possibly have said it better myself.

MWAH! (Big air-kiss all the way from Charleston to New York, that was.)


PS - Oh, and the whole having free time and not being able to figure out which of the many things you want to do, are what you really want to do? I call that the "deer in the headlights" syndrome. So many options coming at you all at once, with no structure, just sort of make you shut down. I get that a lot too! Definitely a huge need for structure. And while I know we can't be structured all the time, I'm with you - the more we can, the better we'll function. :-)

Anonymous said...

ah structure! i love how opera singers need it. we are this weird class of people that are creative, but need a strict structure within which we are allowed to be creative.