Monday, February 11, 2008

What If's?

So I went off my detox diet Friday night and this weekend and decided after much physical agony that meat and dairy are no longer for me. My body suffered greatly due to the changed eating and I wasn't even that terrible...it' not like I went out for fried chicken and French fries or a great big steak or something of the like. But I did break down and have pad thai with my boyfriend Friday night followed by some frozen yogurt, and boy howdy did my body revolt. On Saturday I decided to have a multi-grain bagel w/low-fat scallion cream cheese and a decaf coffee w/half & half...NOPE, my body couldn't handle that either...I knew in the back of my mind I should have gone for the tofu cream cheese! Finally on Sunday I opted for delicious pumpkin pancakes and an apple cider and my body was much happier...however, I neglected to eat until I got home after my rehearsal and coaching yesterday, which was a good 8 to 9 hours since I ate breakfast...not the smartest thing to do and my body had the worst time resting & falling asleep. There really is no substitute for healthy and clean eating. My body seems to really respond positively to the whole grains, nuts, legumes, organic fruits & veggies (duh). I've also been enjoying the inventive and adventurous cuisine...it's been a really nice experience over all. How nice to have abounding energy from eating well and having the capability to really challenge myself at the gym and in everyday life. So I believe I'm going to stick to this healthy new way of eating and see if I can finally reach my overall goal of a lean & healthy body. Not only have I been getting comments about how good I'm looking, but even I can notice and feel a change happening both inside & out. I will allow myself a multi-grain bagel every now & then, but with the tofu cream cheese option instead (boy did I learn my lesson the hard way). It's so funny...I look back at all my "failed" attempts at dieting and sticking to an exercise regiment and realize, they weren't failures at all, but the baby steps that have gotten me to where I am today...finally accepting of myself physically and pretty darn happy too. Granted, I'd like to look like a bikini model, and who knows with enough perseverance and hard work, I'll get there, but overall, I like me as I am right now and can you really ask for more contentment than that? I think I'm in a pretty healthy place right now in life. So what a great success all the try, try again attitude has given me. Kudos to all of us who never give up and continue to strive for the best WE can be. I have to say, I do have those moments of "what if" I had really hit the gym hard everyday since beginning my journey or what if I had stuck to eating clean without ever slipping up, but I also realize that I'm human and that it takes time to change habits that have been built up over a good chunk of my lifetime. So all I can do is look to the near future, the next moment even and resolve that I will continue to try and succeed at reaching my optimal goal. From this moment on to commit 100% in order to meet my own expectations.

Now onto the opera side of things: I've been coaching and singing like a mad woman for the past couple of weeks. I've memorized two new arias and learned two other pieces of music for my upcoming audition with Chelsea Opera tomorrow night at 9:30pm. I'm actually rather proud of myself with how quickly I've been able to learn this music on top of working a full-time job, rehearsals at Dicapo Opera, and the few odds & ends jobs I do for them as well. Come to think of it, I did all this and stuck with my diet & exercise consistently as well...maybe I've turned a corner and am finally on the other side of healthy living. Good thing I'm pretty flexible, because I'm sooo patting myself on the back right now...lol. Oh well, if you can't appreciate your own accomplishments, who will? All I can say is that I really want this particular role that I'm auditioning for...It's really perfect for me, vocally, physically, and age wise. So I'll go in prepared and ready to sing my best, for that's all one really can do.

Have a great day :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well, it sounds like you've definitely found the right eating style for your body! Nothing like a little digression to show you just how much good it's doing, huh? :-)

We all have those moments of self-castigation when we think, "Man, look at all the time I've wasted, if I'd just started off doing this to begin with..." But you know, everything happens for a reason and like you said, every step you took has helped to lay the groundwork for you to be ready to do this.

You're doing great, you'll be bikini-modeling in no time. :-) And I'll keep my fingers crossed for your role!

V.