Friday, September 17, 2010

Ponderisms (and my Comments)

"PONDERISMS"

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. (Silly)

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. (So True)

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. (Yes, that's the point)

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.  (Hmmm)

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,... lying in hospitals dying of.... nothing.  (We can only hope)

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs,.. like they used to?  (I have this uncle...)

Whenever I feel blue,..... I start breathing again. (Clever...and it works!)

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. (Ha)

In the 60's, people took 'acid' to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal! (OMG...You know...they're right?)

How is it, that 'one' careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? (Ugh, tell me about it, and forget about rubbing two sticks together)

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these 'dangly' things and drink whatever comes out?'  (I'm assuming a man?)

If Jimmy 'cracks corn' and no one cares, why is there a song about him? (Yeah, I totally singing it right now, and it's going to be stuck in my head all day)

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look 'up there' anyway?  (I actually appreciate that act...I'm very modest)

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (Yeah...think about that one)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is 'baby oil' made from? (Ew)

Do illiterate people get the 'full effect' of Alphabet Soup? (Oooh...good question)

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? (I personally think it does)

Why doesn't glue stick to the 'inside' of the bottle? (Actually, I have a couple of old bottles at home that would disprove this question)
 
Hope you enjoyed my funny little share.

2 comments:

forever said...

I'm appreciate your writing skill.Please keep on working hard.^^

Aby @ always.aby said...

Just found your blog, and found this post incredibly amusing. I'm pretty sure my giggling is freaking my husband out just a little bit... Thank you for the laughs!